Is your lover into you only for the sex?
21 March 2015, Nirapad News: Here are top 5 signs that scream you don’t have a relationship beyond the bedroom.
You met at a house party.
After a few pints, things got really cosy. Now you are constantly texting each other and have already met four times in a week. Each rendezvous has been a late night one, post work and spent mostly in bed. It’s been weeks since you’ve known each other, but you haven’t so much as gone to the neighborhood cafe together. Is this a relationship or is she into you just for the sex. Here are the top five signs that could give you your answer:
YOU’VE NEVER BEEN ON A DATE
Initially, it may have seemed exciting, romantic even. Your interest, shall we say, would take the time out to text after a long day at work just to meet up. And, she’d trudge to your home, even if it was at 10.30 pm just to meet you. You thought it was a sign of true love. But here’s a question you should ask yourself: if s he is so excited about meeting you, why will she not go out for dinner or a drink with you? Or catch a late night show?
Remember, people go on dates when they consider the equation a relationship or feel the possibility of one exists. If the only place you’ve ever hung out has been a bedroom, yours is more like the fringe benefit kind of friendship.
YOU DON’T KNOW THE FRIENDS
This is closely linked to the dating equation. If you’ve been in a regular sexual relationship for over three months and you still have no entry into higher social circle, you’re in trouble, honey.
If a guy is serious about a woman he’s see ing, he will introduce her to his pals within a few weeks. And a woman likes nothing more than showing off her man to her friends. So, if that hasn’t happened, you ought to start worrying.
Try broaching the topic -plan a lunch brunch where two more people can join you; or get a couple of extra tickets to a movie -and see the reaction. If your lover prefers to let the tickets go waste, you might want to put on your running shoes.
TOO MUCH TOO SOON
“Why didn’t we meet sooner?” “Don’t disappear on me.”
These are lines that just warm you up when you hear it from the man (this tip is gender specific) you’ve gone googly-eyed for.And it helps when he promises you thoughtful gifts. But, hold on to your horses if this is happening too soon in the relationship (any time before three weeks is too soon).
When guys promise the moon (and too soon at that), they are just trying to pull down your defences. If you wait a while, you find out that none of the gifts materalise and chances of him disappearing are higher.
I’M NOT RELATIONSHIP MATERIAL
We’ve got told that so often, we don’t even blink anymore. Just turn around on auto-pilot and walk away. Fast. When a guy says that to you, what he really means is that he’s not looking for a relationship with you. All he wants is a romp and you seem good enough for that. Nothing more.
And no, women aren’t always the innocent party. Have you heard the line, “I want to take it slow…That guy broke my heart”?
Well sweety, if her heart’s so broken that she can’t imagine moving on, what did she think she was doing with you anyway?
This line is a woman’s way of getting more sympathy (and sex), without having to commit to a relationship.
You might have been at it till 3 am on a Saturday night, but she will never run out of excuses to return home at an odd hour -parents’ will be up waiting (for a 30-year-old man, really?), my flatmate will be worried (can’t you SMS her?), who will feed the cat? (seriously?). And they are being smart. Because not staying over at the other’s place for the night is among the top rules for maintaining a strictly-sexual relationship.